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It was another cold and rainy morning.
Stacy woke up at dawn, shivering slightly, and saw that her significant other of almost 8 years, was already up and most likely out the door headed to work.
She rolled over, grabbed her phone off the nightstand, and looked through her notifications.
There were the usual: emails, several Facebook likes, a text from her mother, and an inspirational quote from a friend.
Stacy sighed…nothing from Nick.
She thought about the big fight she had with Nick yesterday… again, just before dinner, followed by hostile silence all evening.
Looking back, it felt that over the past year, they had more arguments and conflict than happy times. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she really felt happy spending time with her spouse.
She scrolled through her text messages and studied a text message from one of her closest friends which included the phone number for a “great divorce attorney.” Whatever that meant.
Stacy’s thoughts shifted to 3-year-old Emily and 5-year-old Noah, who were still sleeping just a few feet away, blissfully unaware of the emotional storm she was battling.
She worried, how would divorce impact these sweet, innocent children of hers?
Would her and Nick’s failures mean behavior problems and worse, an unhappy life for their children?
She felt a smorgasbord of feelings, anger at Nick, sadness and worry for her children, and defeat and hopelessness for herself.
She thought, “another great start to another day in the life of Nick and Stacy’s marriage that sucks.”
And it wasn’t even 7am yet.
Stacy began to cry…
Your story might sound similar
If you resonate with all or even part of this story, I want to tell you…
You are definitely not alone. I mean, you know this, but still, it feels so lonely sometimes.
Like Stacy, you might be wondering “how DOES divorce impact my child or children?”
I am here to share the answer to that question and more.
But first, you’ve probably heard the statistics, that approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce.
Although there’s inconsistent data on divorce rates since the 1980’s due to a “deterioration in reporting data,” most researchers say that divorce rates are still climbing.
It’s a fact in our society today. Families breaking apart is part of our reality. It stinks, but it’s true.
But hold the fort, there’s good news and bad news.
The bad news is somewhat obvious, there are more divorces than ever, a lot of marriages are unstable, and children are experiencing the breakup of their families.
And along with that bad news, research shows that children from divorced homes can potentially be at greater risk for mental health problems in the future.
Notice, I said “potentially.”
There’s good news
This is where the good news comes in.
Over the past several years, there’s been a tremendous amount of research done on the topic of divorce.
What researchers are finding is that there are several factors that contribute to how children are impacted by divorce.
And you may be surprised at what they found.
Some things like:
- there is a decrease in the stigma of divorce,
- along with an increased acceptance of divorce,
- and parents are starting to learn more about navigating their kids through the difficulty and stress of divorce
This is all good news for our kiddos.
Kids, overall, are surviving and even thriving after divorce.
Ok, so I do have to mention that not all kids are doing well.
And for the children that are at risk for not doing well after divorce, we must do better. And we can do better, we just need to know how. I’m here to help you with that.
Take heart. As a parent, you can help your child or children get through this difficult and stressful time.
And they can go on to live healthy, happy lives. They really can.
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