There is no doubt that divorce causes chaos in our otherwise normally structured lives.
It’s inevitable and unavoidable to some degree.
BUT, I have a suggestion and a solution that will help to minimize some of that chaos.
Create a detailed parenting plan
So what goes into a parenting plan? you might ask.
That’s a great question! I answer that in my FREE detailed Parenting Plan Guide and accompanying Worksheet here.
Of course when you go to court for the purpose of establishing custody, you are required to have a general parenting plan, but I’m talking about creating a parenting plan that:
- Goes into much more detail
- Is very child focused
- Is agreed upon with both parent’s input
Ideally, both parents should create this plan together, but if that’s not feasible, then each parent can give their input for each of the separate categories. Then what is not agreed upon can either be renegotiated, left out, or a mediation specialist can be brought in to help with this.
Since a good parenting plan is a detailed outline of how you will structure different areas of your child’s life now that mom and dad live separate lives, it’s important to create a plan that works for everyone.A child centered post divorce parenting plan is going to ensure better health and success for your child.Click To Tweet
When creating your parenting plan, you need to adult up here and think in terms of what is best for your precious child and not how you can “stick it” to the other parent. I do understand that this other parent might have really hurt you or might owe you lots of money.
But is messing with your child’s happiness worth it to you to get back at that other parent?
I can tell you the answer is unequivocally, NO. And in your more rational moments, you know this to be true.
Kids already have a tough time seeing their world as they know it unravel and fall apart. It’s a scary time for kids. It’s often a time when they see their parents at their worse selves and they often feel alone, and in the middle of the destruction and war zone.
I know this might sound a bit dramatic to you.
But have you seen some of your angry selves? You know that ex-spouse can push buttons like no one else can!
All that to say
Don’t use your child to get back at your spouse. Do allow your child to see the other parent. Do come up with a plan that is child focused.
Get your detailed parenting plan guide and accompanying worksheet here.
And you know what, I believe in you parents, that you will do what’s right and best for your child.
To find out more about what you should tell your child about getting a divorce, you can read that here.